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Communication and Relationships

As my whirlwind three week travel expedition came to its finality Sunday night, I am finding myself catching up on a lot of what I’ve learned over this course or travel, mostly from today and Saturday talking with a few friends, and mostly about relationships. This is my viewpoint. Please correct if I maybe wrong, since the last relationship I had was over three years ago. First of all marriage and money, (now speaking from an insider/outsider point of view on marriage) Doesn’t it make sense when both parties are working full-time/half-time to split your paychecks by 80% into the community bank account. More for all the household expenses like the mortgage, utilities, groceries, anything that is community involved. So if each party has 20% of their paycheck that they can keep to themselves for whatever purpose, say clothes, partying, (my favorite is shoes), and whatever each individual finds themselves doing with their own personal account. I don’t know, maybe I’m completely off base here, since I’ve never been married, but it seems it would decrease the amount of money the couple would bitch about. Secondly, communication is the success to any relationship. You have to be completely open and honest about where you are, what you want out of life, what you want out of the relationship, how you see the other person being complementary to your life. I myself went through this terrible insecurity from my last relationship, never knowing how the guy felt about me, if there was a future for us, or what direction should I go. To answer in depth questions with “I enjoy spending time with you” is not an answer. That says to me, Yeah, I am enjoying what we’re doing together passing the time, but you’re not what I am looking for in my future partner. Why not say something more communicative like this: “I really enjoy the time we are together, drinking and partying, and cuddling, and the sex is awesome, but I am having insecurities about you as a mother, or someone I feel would complement me in the long run.” Okay so it’s harsh but honest.
Why waste your time with someone who doesn’t want what you want in the long run, if the long run is your goal, as most people, I think, just want someone that’s honest and open and accepting to who each individual is. Both individuals in the relationship should have a clear goal of what each individual wants out of their in individual lives, and when you find that person that lets you be who you are, and accepts you for that, and complements you, then you’ve found you’re match, if that’s what you’re into…Finding someone for the long haul. Now maybe you’ve found that person and everything is perfect, but the timing is off, and you start to think, “Well what if I can do better?” Guess what? You can. No matter how much you feel like that one person is your soul mate and you connect on almost every level, remember, it’s still an almost, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking yourself, “Can I do better?” Timing can be a huge issue, considering (even me) wants it now, we have no patience.
It’s like going swimming, sometimes you can jump right on in, and the water’s great, and you don’t mind being dunked a few times, because it’s fun, it adds to the excitement of the relationship. Sometimes though, the water maybe cold, and you have to ease into it, and once you’re in, the water’s great, and you get used to it, and you don’t mind playing around getting dunked. But then sometimes, you have to get thrown in, and when the water’s cold, get the hell out of it, because that’s not what you want, and sometimes you get thrown in, and the water’s fine, but you wonder, “Why did I get thrown in?” Well sometimes you need the wakeup call, and you need to open up to what you may not been aware of before.
Okay reem me now, I’m all open to criticism on this little post.
Oh yeah, this is a photo of me a friend took of me in NOLA checking my email on my phone.