I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m really beginning to realize stuff in my life that’s unnecessary or bringing me down. Isn’t being aware the first step to change (if you want?)? The past 10 days of when I’ve been able to make it to yoga, I’ve broken down every session. This morning was the most intensive. After bow pose in the floor series, I couldn’t function. Physically, emotionally could not function. I needed help. I left the class crying immediately following the finish, and I couldn’t see, could barely function, and I was able to ask the owner of the Bikram studio I attend to open my warm coconut water for me, since all during the floor series, I was unable to flip the top on the can. When I look back now on this morning’s Bikram, I am so incredibly thankful for the most difficult classes, the ones I can’t function, can’t move, can’t lock my knee, can’t focus, the heat is overwhelming, I’m sweating rivers…these classes are the most successful to me. Layers and layers of onion. Who knows when I’ll get to the core, but I’m always up for the challenge. (As I kept saying to myself during the floor series, Get out, get out of me, Get out, leave me, get out) To let go and release it all. To be free.
I had a debate with a friend (you know I’m really beginning to love East Coasters out here, they’re amazing and so vibrant!) a couple weeks ago, about happiness. I say, “Nobody deserves happiness.” And she argues that good people deserve happiness. I say, “Nobody deserves happiness. Happiness is a choice, you have to choose it and work for it.” Tell me I’m wrong.
Today was a happy day for me. Very happy. Nothing like coming home after an extremely intensive long day to a surprising chilled bottle of champagne (or sparkling wine). I’m thankful I’m challenged everyday, Every Day, and for the smiles I receive through brief interaction with others. I’m thankful for being curious, the Taurus in me, always up for a challenge, always thankful when I get to butt heads with a Virgo…which always leaves me wondering.
Today was a good day. A very good day. I am very thankful, appreciative, curious and my mind is working. (What else is new?) January 1st, 2012, My friends Ingrid and Shane married on the property where they reside in Plumas County. I am thankful, so thankful they allowed me as their wedding photographer (besides the fact I threatened Ingrid she couldn’t get married without me being there) as their witness.